Here I Go Again, Pt 2

Continuing on the same theme as the prior post...God's ways are not our ways. And we are to be faithful no matter the difficulty of the road.

Think of the person who faces paralysis every day for the rest of their lives. Think of the person who loses a spouse or a child to death. There are people who struggle every day with a debilitating soul-numbing disease or illness - and they are not taken out of it. While on earth these pains never go away; they endure under them until death.

Boy is it ever hard to walk uprightly while packing along a deficit of some kind. We are sinners living in a sinful world carrying along a sinner's body of ills. We all suffer in that to one degree or another. Mine is hormonal. For someone else it is food and allergy issues. Some have headaches and migraines. Some have debilitating fatigue or body weakness or diabetes or obesity.

The crux of the matter is that none of us are off the hook spiritually as a result. Each and every one is still required by God to be an obedient, upright, faithful, holy follower of Christ. We are still required to be patient, kind, giving, forbearing, serving.... No matter the road. No matter the impediments. No matter the state of our bodies. We are to be faithful to the ----end. Stumbling and tripping and staggering along, but never falling to our ultimate ruin. Never facing utter defeat, for in Christ we are assured of victory and a home in heaven.

We cannot stand before God someday and say, 'Well, I wasn't faithful and obedient, because I had a really bad headache.' We are personally responsible to live for Christ and walk in faithful obedience no matter what. That is definitely hard and next to impossible in our own strength.

Don't compare your walk to someone else's walk. Don't think they've got it easier. Walk the path that is set before you, in confidence and faith in Christ, one trusting step at a time and this will glorify God.

View your deficit as a special gift from God to highlight your utter dependency on Him, a daily reminder of your weakness and His strength. It presses a question upon us: Will we trust God even here in this place of neediness and weakness? We should.

Here I Go Again, Part 1

I've shared in previous posts about my past struggles with depression due to an hormonal imbalance. Well, the scales tipped again this summer, and I found myself back in the shadow lands. Not my favorite place to be.

This time around I already intimately knew the monster of depression, and I didn't want to walk with him again. It was disheartening and discouraging to find myself on a path I had already walked - a path I had already conquered.

I liken it to someone being diagnosed with cancer. They do the chemo, radiation, surgery thing, and then find themselves in years of good health. But then BAM. The cancer is back. I wonder, is it harder, then, to cope with, the second time around? This known monster? Does it feel like been-there done-that and I don't wanna do it again? Is it rather more disheartening to find yourself in the same place that not long ago you walked in courage and victory with special strength from the Lord?

Well, this idea got me to thinking.... The reality of life is this: we face the same trials and tribulations, sometimes over and over and over again. The Israelites faced lack of water and food over and over again; their enemies threatened their very lives dozens of times. And this is not purposeless fate or life bumblings. This is a purposeful path for our spiritual growth and good.

We are not now exempt from a particular trial because we've experienced it before. It would be nice to have a list, and just keep crossing things off. Okay, I've done depression. Check. I've done the lonely thing. Check. I've conquered impatience. Check. My needs have gone unmet. Check. I've embarrassed myself in public. Check. I've dealt with an impossible boss. Check.

On one hand, it can be disheartening to be in a trial again enduring under something you have already suffered. But on the other hand, God has supplied much in the way of tools for you to use this time around, you've learned to apply His word to this trial and temptation. You have prior knowledge and experience and it is meant to under gird you and and girdle-you-up to face it in strength. Not only do you have prior knowledge of this trial - but you have prior knowledge of God's sweet help.

We are not exempt from a particular trial because we have experienced it before. It can be disheartening to be in the same place again, but what do we do? The same - very same - thing as the first time around. We throw ourselves on our Savior. We look to Him as the hope and help of our countenance, as our soul's "uplifter." We read His word faithfully, diligently and regular. And we do not lose heart for the race we are involved in. We are in a race - it is not a fairytale cruise. Hard to remember.

So, you might feel like you got a decent passing grade on the first time this test came around - and why do I have to take it again, but remember that God's ways are not our ways. His ways are higher, deeper, richer. Beyond our ken. We don't have to "get it." We don't have to agree or understand - we just must continue to walk in truth and faithfulness no matter the difficulty of the road. We must be faithful to our task. To the end. That's all.

Genealogical Gem

It has definitely been too long since the last post if I cannot even remember my user name and password. It took me three tries to remember just exactly WHO I am. Most decidedly a hint to post more often!

Remember back to the beginning of summer my goal and heart's desire was to study the gospels and get a closer look at my King's face? It has been a pleasure. Using a synoptic gospel guide that I downloaded from the internet, I have been reading the gospels in event-order, switching back and forth between them as the story and time line progress through Christ's life and mission on earth. And with each pocket-sized event, I take the time to stop and meditate and see what insights the Lord allows. My insights surely aren't 'gospel', but for me they have quickened my love for the word and my love for Jesus.

I want to share a tiny tidbit of my joys along the way - even the hidden treasure in a long genealogy. Matthew 1:1 says, "A record of the genealogy of Jesus Christ..."

Jesus has a genealogy. He was born into humankind - became a man. That may seem obvious, but stop and really think about that. He entered history in a specific time and in a specific line of men, as foretold and promised by God to both King David and Abraham.

Jesus' family line has evil men and kings as well as good kings. It includes a murderer, a prostitute, faithful God-followers, worshipers of idols, the disobedient as well as the faithful - just like any human genealogy.

Just like prophesied, He came and entered history at just the right moment. At just the right point in that list of human beings. It was foretold. It was promised. It was looked forward to in faith and hope. And He came. He really did.

Isaiah predicted, "For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over His kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this."

What a Savior!

Randy Alcorn said this: Because the fall really happened in history, God's Son had to enter history (incarnation) and die in history (redemption) and rise from the grave in history (resurrection).

What an amazing redemptive plan unfolding...!

You Call THAT Summer?

As short as this summer felt, we were able to squeeze in at least one high-adventure camping trip. We were camping at 6000 feet in late August and experienced just about all of the weather possibilities known to man: snow, hail, rain, high winds. Oh, and eventually some sun. It was loads of fun. In a tent.

I slept with three sleeping bags, three sweatshirts (hood up), two sweatpants, two socks, and gloves. And I still took hours to truly warm up. The snow accumulated so fast that we had to beat it off the sagging roof of the tent every 20 minutes, until we abandoned camp and huddled at the Lodge cafe for a couple of hours eating our way through pizza and cobbler and gallons of hot coffee while we played canasta. It was emotionally very hard returning to camp, as you might imagine, but I just went straight to bed again and huddled under the covers reading all day.

The night of the high winds, I was awakened by the tent collapsing over my face. Lovely feeling in the dark of night. Oh, and did I mention that we were camping in bear country? So you know I waited awake each night for the entrance of said bear into our tent through the broken zippered front. We were very careful not to have food or even bathroom supplies such as toothpaste in our tent to entice the bears to enter - but what about the Frito's stuck in my teeth?

Our beloved dog must have gotten car sick on the road trip to camp because that first night she vomited about ten times. Do you wanna know how much like a bear's growl her vomiting heaves sounded?? It was a lovely night. One daughter and I truly had the giggles. And Dad pulled his famous line for all time and all situations: This Is Ridiculous.

But yes - eventually we had three days of sunshine and spent all day on the lovely white pumice and sandy beach on East Lake right outside our tent door. Finally, it was warm, and only occasionally did an arctic breeze blow across our sunning backs. I read and read and read and devoted and drew and painted and ate more Frito's. Now THAT is my kind of camping.

A Beautiful New Journal

In March of 2009 I began a beautiful new journal - a lime green whimsically floral one. This journal was a place for new beginnings, following on the heels as it did of various difficult trials in my life. Those trials at that time included: A severe long term family crisis, my hormonally induced depression, my oldest daughter's two years of crashed health, and my third daughter's week in the hospital.

I was ready to begin a new chapter. Here is what I wrote on the first page:

A beautiful new journal...a continued journey with my Lord through the hills and valleys and brambly paths of life. Brambles can be scritchy-scratchy-grabby, and they can cut you and make you bleed. They can catch and snag at your soul, ensnaring you in an off-the-beaten-path hazard.

But brambles can also smell rich with summer berries, be intertwined with lovely pale white morning glories, and full of bird-song. Comforting joy even in the snags.

I have walked with the Lord for 36 years now, and I have been on many various types of passageways and cobbled trails - and this I know:

God is faithful and good and Sovereign and in control and purposeful in all things. I have been tried in several life-furnaces, and though I may have come out the other side of them in various states of success spiritually - HE shines forth in glorious radiance, perfect holiness, in goodness and mercy.

I trust Him; I believe in Him. Even here in this new place and after this new traumatic testing. I am a work undone and unfinished; He is a faithful Refiner and Finisher, to build me up and not tear me down.

Purposeful trials and tribulations and deep waters.... Purposeful. Known. Planned. Orchestrated. Designed. Directed. Not to undo me or deconstruct me or de-edify me or tear me down, but to build me up. To establish me in the faith. To grow deep and broad and life-depending roots. To grow me into a steadfast woman who endures under and bears up under her trials. To eternally bless me in heaven.

So be it.

Love Intervenes

Heavy on my heart has been this question, related to a loved one surrendering to deep sin: What am I to do?

Our culture - even our Christian culture - is so hands off, so timid, so afraid of coming across as judgmental, so afraid of being ineffective, that we leave a fellow-believer wallowing in the muck and mud of their sin.

Why confront, you might say? We can’t change them, can’t make them shed their sin and walk in righteousness. So why bother?

But how can we watch them on a path that is destructive for their very soul and not try to intervene? Rescue?

You intervene because you love them. You intervene because you love God. And you intervene because willful sin spits on Christ and His sacrifice for their sin.

Granted, you might not change them. It’s true, you might lose the relationship. But are you willing to be used of God as a tool for restoration, to bring them back to a right relationship with God and others?

Love intervenes. Love speaks out. Love speaks truth. We have the words of LIFE - are we ashamed of them? Shine the light of TRUTH into their life. Be a signpost in their headlong rush towards destruction that shouts NO. STOP. BEWARE.

A person caught in sin, especially sexual sin, is blind to their sin. They don’t see clearly, they rationalize their behavior. Who knows how God might use your words of God’s truth to bring them up short and cause them to stop and think. Trust God to be responsible to use His words as He sees fit. His word is a sharp sword, piercing, and able to get right at the heart.

“Brothers, if someone is caught (ensnared) in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently…. Carry each other’s burdens.” Gal 6:1-2

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful (trustworthy) are the wounds of a friend…” Prov. 27:5-6

“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” Luke 17: 3

“My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” James 5:19-20

Key to this process is maintaining a loving attitude and a spirit of gentleness. Man’s anger does not accomplish the good work of God. Man’s anger interferes and clouds the water and does not bring about good fruit. Man’s anger shuts the door and plugs the ears. Keep your own frustration and anger out of it.

Pity them in their lost and dark place. They are caught in a web unable to extricate themselves. Ensnared. Trapped. Proverbs says that the unfaithful are trapped by their evil desires. (11:6) They might think they are in a place of great freedom and happiness. But that is a lie of the devil who is out to slay their soul. And we know better - we know what God’s word says.

Reach out with the hands of love to someone you know who is not walking uprightly with Christ, someone who is caught in a sinful lifestyle. Do not stay on the sidelines and watch their destruction.

We are our brother’s keeper. Real love, tough love, is willing to speak unwelcome truth - real love is willing to get down in the trenches and get dirty as we reach out to grasp a hold of their hand and pull them out.

Menacing Mail Attack

Turning 50 has not only been relatively painless and less traumatizing than I projected, but actually a full-of-joy experience for me. Thanks to my hubby and dear friends and family, I had an absolute blast. I felt like I was gently carried over that half-a-century line and soothingly placed on the far side, upbeat and ready to face the-rest-of-my-life.

But then the attack began. It was insidious and sinister. And it started with AARP. Asking did I want to start my very own personal subscription to the OLD PEOPLE'S MAGAZINE?? I don't think so - thank you very much. But they are insistent, and not a month goes by when I don't receive another AARP reminder that the world at large considers me OLD.

But this week was the clincher. I received a LIPOLIFT 'Aesthetic Medicine' brochure in the mail, assuring me that I could laserlift myself right into new and improved! I could be reshaped, resized, rebuilt, lifted, tucked or suctioned. Wow. Doesn't that all just sound so fun? Right after our coffee date, how about if we gals go get worked over??

What is the matter with the me that I am? I mean, its not like I don't work on me quite enough as it is. I work out regularly; I wear deodorant; I shave my legs, apply lotion, paint my toenails, color my hair, wear make-up, and file my fingernails. This is about all the time I want to expend on this me. Oh, I guess I do like to dress myself in bright colors, capris, and black strappy sandals.

I stand HERE, strong and true, just over the 50 yard line, resistant to the AARP attack. I-will-not-subscribe. Are you with me?

A Girl's Perfect Day

Blessed day with my girls....and two new blessings to add to my list.

(Okay three blessings, cause I love the humongous bouquet of roses with light blue and sagey green hydrangeas that my daugher arranged)

But first I scrubbed our back deck preparatory to staining it and gave two rhodies severe butch haircuts. Marauding blackberry vines stretched the rhododendron bushes out of proportion, hence the hacking back. I was very brave to tackle this, as this was the-very-area where I saw a snake a couple of weeks ago. I would have felt better in hip-waders; snakes are ungodly. (I think I need to share my snake poem with you. Future blog post.)

But then the siren song of Stratford Tea House called and off we girls went. Picture warm Italian villa colors with flowered tea pots. A perfect girly place. My tea cup was a luscious lime green with pink roses. I begged for that one - very grown up of me. Scones with jam and Devonshire cream, Hungarian mushroom soup, flowered pots of ginger-peach tea and Russian Caravan tea. We imbibed and indulged and giggled our way through the tasty treats. (Blessing number one)

Then the girls talked me into shopping at Old Navy. Why is shopping such a panacea for all that ails a girl? I once asked Chris if it was unchristianly to adore shopping. Thankfully he just chuckled and didn't give me any black and white answer. Don't YOU either. I bought a wild redish orangish top and a feminine lacy-edged peach cardigan. Who wouldn't feel better, I ask you. (Blessing number two)

I'm almost done reading "Holiness" by JC Ryle. There is a chapter near the very end called something like, "Understanding the Times." It has challenging and convicting words for us. Listen to this for starters:

"The man who is content to sit ignorantly by his own fireside, wrapped up in his own private affairs, and has no public eye for what is going on in the church and the world, is a miserable patriot, and a poor style of Christian. Next to our Bibles and our own hearts, our Lord would have us study our own times." (ouch)

The section that stood out to me was where he elucidated on the fact that the times require at our hands distinct and decided views of Christian doctrine. Listen to his eloquent and colorful language as he passionately speaks to this topic:

"...beware of this undecided state of mind in religion. It is a pestilence which walketh in darkness, and a destruction that killeth in noonday. It is a lazy, idle frame of soul which, doubtless, saves men the trouble of thought and investigation; but it is a frame of soul for which there is no warrant in the Bible...."

"For your own soul's sake dare to make up your mind what you believe, and dare to have positive distinct views of truth and error. Never, never be afraid to hold decided doctrinal opinions; and let no fear of man and no morbid dread of being thought party-spirited, narrow or controversial, make you rest contented with a bloodless, boneless, tasteless, colorless, lukewarm, undogmatic Christianity."

"Mark my words, if you want to do good in these times, you must throw aside indecision, and take up a distinct, sharply cut, doctrinal religion. If you believe little, those to whom you try to do good will believe nothing...."

"Christianity without distinct doctrine is a powerless thing. It may be beautiful to some minds, but it is childless and barren."

Oh, I love the solid truth of Scripture - the forever-settled-in-heaven truth that God has given us. And I love these old time authors who are passionate about truth and challenging to this generation where we are tempted to be wishy-washy and tolerant to all views, and can tend to be uncomfortable with dogmatism. Bible truths are worthy of a strong stance and firmly held beliefs.

Small Time Blessings

What gives you joy? What warms your heart and nourishes your soul? What causes cozy snuggle down feelings of comfortableness and peace?

Open your eyes and heart to the small soul pleasures, those things that lighten your heart and lift your soul up in gratefulness to the Lord. Sometimes we need to look for them purposefully.

I tell my writing students to develop eyes that really SEE, to be astute observers of beauty and life. Be a detective pursuing clues of God's goodness-es to us in this life. They are there.

Remember one of my theme verses for this blog? "...I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

If there is one thing I know, you and I are surely in the land of the living. And another thing I know - the Lord is GOOD. So believe and look.

What truly is loads of fun is making your own list of blessings. You saw a partial list of mine yesterday. A couple of you friends mentioned doing that for yourself - I say go for it.

Here are a few more pleasures I love: color, girl friends, coffee dates, deep spiritual books, journaling, hugs, romantic (clean) movies, chocolate, a sweet conversation with one of my girls... and the list goes on, forever really.

You will see how many dozens of things come to mind when you really think about what gives you joy. Have fun.

When you are feeling down, stressed, burdened at work, exhausted with responsibilities, this is a wonderful time to purposefully surround yourself with as many little joy givers as you can. This may sound like total immersion in self, but believe me, looking for blessings lifts our eyes up out of the doldrums, out of the slough of despond, and helps us see more clearly how truly blessed we are. There are many 'feelings' that can pull us down - well, take your feelings in hand and speak truth to them. The truth that your life is actually full, absolutely cup-overflowingly full of many richness-es and goodness-es.

Cultivate eyes that see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Chutzpah

Hi. My name is Laura. I have been remiss in my blogging. I have been bad. Very bad indeed.

I lost my 'oomph' for a bit - my chutzpah. ( I looked that cool word up. No definition to be found, but I'm still sure I LOST it.) Cause my get-up-and-go got up and went, too. Probably hand in hand with my chutzpah, and they are gallivanting and cavorting on some beach in the south of France. Without me.

I have been on a downward slippery slope into feelings of depression (again) over the last six months, but now I am clawing my way back up and out. Mainly via increased doses of the hormonal miracle drug progesterone.

I will be okay. Soon I hope.

You know what I've been doing besides regular wife-mother-house type thingies? I've been increasing my joy factor. I've been seriously dogging after collecting delights for my soul. Here is a short list of my personal favorites:

Driving in the car with the windows down letting the wind tussle with my hair, my arm straight out the window, country music blaring. This works best when driving alone.

Watching my little golden finches and red headed house finches gorge themselves on my bird feeder right out my living room window.

Squirting an extra blast of perfume on my neck.

Manicures and pedicures and toe rings.

Sitting in the sun absorbing its healing happy rays.

Reading a really good book.

Watercolor painting in my little travel journal where I chronicle almost every day of my summer. The sketching and painting have been a newly discovered pleasure for me.

Teaching dear friends to quilt. And learning lovely new layouts from them.

Laughter. Especially with family and good friends.

A slow road trip down the coast with my husband - enjoying Italian sodas, Mexican mochas, and hitting every cute little shop along the way. And every bathroom.

Walking through the fields in the early morning light, the hillsides warm in the golden glow of a day just beginning. Listening to the birds.

A buttery bowl of popcorn. (See how WAY down on the list that was??! Impressive!)

Lighting scented candles around the house.

There are so many little blessings from the Lord that increase our joy. I am grateful for every miniature delight that comes my way. So, thanks for listening. I'll be back soon....


PS Google says that Chutzpah means something like 'gutsy audacity.' That's not quite what I wanted it to mean. I wanted it to mean something like 'spit and vinegar,' because that's what I'm missing. But maybe I'm missing my gutsy audacity, too. ;O] I think I'm missing several things....

Where is Your Faith, Part 3

In Exodus 14 the Lord culminates His mighty rescuing of His people from Egypt. The Hebrew people escaped - the Egyptians followed - and God stood in the gap to protect and fight for His people.

The Egyptian enemies boasted, "I will pursue...I will overtake...I will gorge myself on them...my sword will destroy them." But God intervened! He simply blew His breath on them - 'wooo' - and the sea covered them and they sank like lead into the mighty waters! No messing around.

"And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in Him and in Moses His servant." (14)

And they sang, "Who among the gods is like you, O Lord?
Who is like you --
Majestic in holiness,
Awesome in glory,
Working wonders?
You stretched out Your right hand
And the earth swallowed them.
In Your unfailing love You will lead
The people You have redeemed.
In Your strength You will guide them to
Your holy dwelling." (15:11-13)

Full of praise to God, the people were bursting with spiritual fervor and strengthened faith. This was a place of rich blessing. Imagine seeing God Almighty fight for them, and conquer their enemies.

They may have felt like - this is it! - I can do this life with such an awesome, mighty God in my camp. They felt strengthened in their inner man to stand against any foe with such a God. Victorious! Forever! Set free from slavery, set free to walk intimately with this God who walks so closely with His people. Hallelujah!

But the story does not stop there.

"Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water." (22)

"Then" - Next - What came right after, right on the heels of such great blessing and victorious triumphs? They were led into the desert and had no water for three days.

WHAT? What is the Lord doing? WHY? Why this NOW? We are His people. He has claimed us and fought for us and now we are suffering THIS? What could possibly be the meaning of this?

On the first day as they marched off, following Moses, they walked in full spiritual strength, confident in the Lord and in His ability to provide for them and take care of them. I'm sure they reminded themselves and their children to trust God and hold fast to Him in faith. I can see the beaming faces and the secure steps.

The second day was tougher. They awakened thirsty. A little foot-sore. The adults quieted the thirsty children with encouraging words, heard the lowing sounds of the miserable animals, but walked forth into the new day still holding onto the shirttails of the prior day's victories.

But the third day broke down any spiritual resolve to trust God or even to call upon Him for mercy! That almighty victorious God - He no longer felt near. So much for being God's special people; so much for His promise to guide them and bring them to the promised land. Their steadfastness staggered at this catastrophe.

The people grumbled and groused at Moses, "WHAT are we to drink?"

"...there He tested them." (25) This was a hand-carved test, created just for them.

"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger...to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Deut.8)

Life is comprised of tests, trials, challenges, crisis, and one of the things the Lord is after is our response: to reveal ourselves to ourselves, to expose ourselves to ourselves. He knows our hearts; He knows how we will respond to these tests and how we will handle them. He knows us intimately - but we are blind to ourselves.

He is also testing and proving, stretching and strengthening our faith. Where was the faith of the Israelites at this first test in the desert? It should have been there. Their faith should have undergirded them at this place of dire straits. At the very least, it should have reminded them to cry out to God for help.

He led them to a place where other needs screamed louder than their need and appetite for God, and they failed the test. In their thirst they forgot God. In the immediacy of the crisis - in the middle of acute distress, watching their children and animals suffer - their hearts were hardened toward God. They did not turn to Him in faith. They did not cry out to Him. They did not fall to their knees believing in this Almighty God who performs documented eye-witnessed miracles, beseeching Him to help them. Instead they fretted and sweated and sought human help.

Somehow there was a disconnect between that 'Wow' God of a few days prior, who dealt with the big stuff, and a God who cares today that they are thirsty, and stumbling with fatigue, and listening despairingly to the cries of their children. You don't get the feeling from this passage that this God who led them forth and rescued them was their personal God. You don't sense a heart cry of, 'This is MY God, MY Savior, MY hope and help.'

This was a test of their faith. Where was it?

Ashamed to be a Woman

Today I was ashamed to be a woman. What is the matter with our sex?

I watched a woman shopping through Winco grocery store, berating her husband who was seated in a motorized wheelchair. "Why didn't you follow me?" "Get out of my way." "Move over." "Hurry up." "Come ON." He couldn't do anything right - and she lambasted him with full venom.

I wish I could post a picture of her pinched and angry face. I wish I could remember all of her words. I wish I'd been brave enough to confront her....

She disrespected her husband. She talked down to him. She belittled him. She acted exasperated, impatient, short, and clipped. She was a monster on a mission, and that mission did not include kindness and gentleness to the man she had chosen as her life-time partner and husband. The man she'd chosen to love, honor, and respect. Not.

As believers in Christ, there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. This is walking in the flesh personified. It is ugly. And we all do it - at one time or another, in one way or another. (If the shoe doesn't fit, feel no obligation to wear it; but I know for myself that there are times I can be just as ugly in my behavior.)

God has uniquely gifted men and women to fulfill their God-given roles in life. What is it with us women that we feel that our perspective, our 'way-of-seeing' is the only right way? The obviously for-sure only right perspective? We do not tend to value the male outlook. The male-ish angle on things. We should.

But, who made men, anyway? Who is it that fit them out and equipped them uniquely for their role as head of the family and leaders of churches and businesses? God did. And I just sorta think He probably knew what He was about. Or, are men just one big blooper by God Most HIgh and Glorious? I don't think so.

We have a different view of things - a feminine view of things. It is different - but not inherently 'right.' Remember that and give grace. Be kind. Be patient. And remember that walking in holiness and right-living includes how we treat our men.

And remember, too, that somebody could be watching and writing a blog post in their head as they follow you down the aisle. ;O] Beware....

That's all. I just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now.

Where Is Your Faith, Part 2

God tested us through various trials by fire a few years ago, and one heavy-duty trial was our oldest daughter's health which crashed suddenly and severely during her study abroad program in Australia. She'd reacted strongly to mango just prior to leaving, and the ER doctor put her on one week of prednisone to control the allergic reaction. The prednisone crashed her health in a severe way that continued to escalate over the following weeks until suddenly she was allergic to most foods. Her first week in Australia she went to the emergency room two times with breathing difficulties and a swollen throat. In a nut shell, we were worried sick about her. And thankfully, we did not realise that this would be a 2-year-long agonizing road of multiple health issues.

One night in particular I remember laying awake fighting tooth and nail with worries and fears for her safety - and even for her very life. I prayed non-stop in the dark and on my bed and talked my way through the book of John reminding myself of WHO my Jesus is. He is my light. He is my bread. He is my gate and door and way. He is my very life. Until finally I was able to surrender to sleep.

I am so grateful that my God is every-where-present, and even though I could not be right there with her - as my mommy's heart was clamoring to be - I knew that I could trust Him to carry her and be her pillar of strength and support. Like He was my staunch support.

John 9:3, in talking about the man born blind, says, "...this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." God put Himself on display through this trial by fire in our lives, and through our active choice to trust and rely on Him in it.

That next morning while journaling in my devotions, God gave me the following thoughts on faith to encourage me and remind me of how He works in our lives to develop and grow-up our faith. In Psalm 119 the psalmist says that it is good for me to be afflicted, that I may learn His statutes. God uses various situations and trials, whatever their shape or form, and they are designed to make me, not break me or destroy me. It has been permitted by God to mold me into the image of His Son, not to disfigure me for life. He does it for the sake of proving my faith....

This concept of 'proving' my faith made me think of a bridge. A bridge is designed and built to certain specs, and stress tests are conducted on the structure. But the bridge span doesn't then just sit there, being strong and fully equipped, but in-active; it is actually pressed into service. It is used. It is proven - by cars and trucks in massive amounts driving across its structure, depending on its span to hold sturdy and strong and to support the vehicles from one point to the next. The bridge is made useful. It is not just ornamental or a bridge-in-theory; it is a bridge in practice and in truth. It is there when needed, not buckling under pressure or failing to be what it was created to be.

Our faith, like a bridge, is pressed into service, to be useful in life, not just a 'theory' or idea untested, untried. Our faith is proven when it holds up under use and pressure and under the ferocious daily 'commute' of life and its fiery trials! Faith is not just a lovely pearl in our necklace of Christian spiritual gifts, worn on special occasions, but it is hardy, and made to get down in the trenches of life with us and support us in our endeavor to walk the walk and live the life that God has set before us.

God gives us faith - and then He grows it up. He matures it; He tests it.

He directs life to give us pop-quizzes: How ya gonna do here? And here? He wants us to be proficient in our use of this tool of faith; to be quicker to bring it to bear on the problems at hand. Quicker to lift our eyes in faith to Jesus no matter the swirling and storming waters of life. We know the One who is in control of all things. So, Where is Your Faith?

Where Is Your Faith, Part 1

[Excerpts from Martin-Lloyd Jones’ amazing book Spiritual Depression.]

There is a difference between the original gift of faith and the walk of faith, or the life of faith, which comes subsequently. God starts us off in the Christian life - and then we have to walk it. The faith He provides is part of our tool chest for life; He’s given us everything we need for life and godliness. (2 Pet.1:3)

Jesus and His disciples were at sea in a boat. Jesus fell asleep and a storm arose that frightened the disciples. They rushed to awaken Him - don’t you care that we are about to perish? Jesus rebukes the wind and raging water and calms the sea. And then, “He said unto them, ‘Where is your faith?’” (Lk.8:22-25)

He rebukes them for being in such a state of agitation and terror and alarm. It is very wrong for a Christian ever to be in such a condition. I do not care what the circumstances may be, the Christian should never be agitated, the Christian should never be beside himself like this, the Christian should never be at his wit’s end, the Christian should never be in a condition in which he has lost control of himself.

A Christian should never, like the worldly person without Christ, be frantic, alarmed, not knowing what to do. A Christian should not look like the world does when going through a trial - coming undone, falling apart, totally freaked out. We are not meant to be carried away by our feelings - whatever they are. These disciples were lacking in self-control. They needed to get a grip on themselves and their runaway feelings.

Anything that comes across our path and puts us in difficulty, at once shows whether we believe in Him and trust in Him, by our response and reaction to it. We must never allow ourselves to be agitated and disturbed whatever the circumstances because to do so implies a lack of faith, a lack of trust, a lack of confidence in our blessed Lord and God.

Scripture is full of examples of ‘the trial of faith.’ Take the eleventh chapter of Hebrews. Every one of them was ‘tried.’ God gives the gift of faith and then the faith is tried. Tested. “Though you are in heaviness for a season” because of certain circumstances, the object of that is “that the trial of your faith which is more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” (1 Pet.1:6-7) That is the theme of all the Scriptures.

Our faith will be tried. God permits storms, He permits difficulties, He permits the wind to blow and the billows to roll, and everything may seem to be going wrong and we ourselves to be in jeopardy. As His people we are not protected from all ‘the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.’ Not at all. We are living in the same world as everybody else.

“In the world,” says our Lord, “you shall have tribulation but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Jn.16:33) “Be of good cheer” - yes, but remember that you will have tribulation. “…we must through much tribulation enter the Kingdom of God.” (Acts14:22)

You observe our Lord’s question: Where is your faith? It seems to imply that He knows perfectly well that they have faith. The question He asks them is, “Where is it?” You have got faith - but where is it at this moment? It ought to be here - where is it? That gives us a key to understanding the nature of faith.

Faith is not a mere matter of feeling. It couldn’t be, as one’s feelings in this kind of condition can be very changeable. Faith is also not something that acts automatically or magically. If it did, these men would never have been in trouble, would never have been agitated and alarmed. But faith is not like that.

Faith is an activity. It is something that has to be exercised. It does not come into operation by itself. Where is your faith means, “Why are you not taking your faith and applying it to this position? To this circumstance? To this trial?”

Faith is a refusal to be controlled by the situation. Faith is a refusal to panic, come what may. Browning’s definition of faith: Perpetual unbelief kept quiet. Faith is unbelief kept down, kept quiet. These men allowed the situation to grip them; they became panicky. Faith, however, is a refusal to allow that. It says - I am not going to be controlled by these circumstances - I am in control. So you take charge of yourself, pull yourself up; you control yourself. Then remind yourself of what you believe, what you know. Remind yourself of truth.

Faith says, okay - I see the billowing and raging storm - BUT. But what? But God! But the Lord Jesus Christ! All things may seem against me to drive me to despair, but I know this - I know that God loves me and sent His Son to die for me.

Where is your faith? - You have got it, why don’t you apply it, why don’t you bring all you know to bear on this situation, why don’t you focus it on this particular problem? Nothing can happen to you but what He allows. God permits that thing to happen to you because it is ultimately for your good.

Having applied your faith - you then hold on. You just refuse to be moved. The enemy will come and attack you, the water will seem to be pouring into the boat - but you say, let the worst come. You stand on your faith. You stand. You believe. You rest in God.

And in the midst of this, your faith is purified. It is established. It is stretched and strengthened and proven true.

Morning Walks

My early morning walks take me through the blueberry fields surrounding our house in the country. The early morning crisp dew-wet grass and the tangy fresh smell of green things is so delightful and fragrant to my soul. Rounded, soft hills surround me, and red barns, distant secluded houses nestled in trees, and crops with their various colors of soft green and pale yellow create a patchwork of such lovely design.

Birds sing and flit about and watch me warily as I walk along past their nesting places. Killdeer, robins, cowbirds, yellow finches, red-tail hawks, starlings and sparrows all dance and hop around in the joy of fresh morning. Birds always fill my heart with singing.

I filled the bird feeders yesterday for the first time this spring. The incessant rain clouded over my realization that we are well into spring and even beginning early summer; you sure couldn't tell by the weather. Red house finches and yellow finches discovered the feeders by late morning. I'm always amazed by how quickly the news travels to the other birds. They must have quite a chatty system going.

This summer we have about 7 hanging baskets of flowers in the front and back yards. Ruby throated humming birds are prolific this year - yea.

Well, I really have nothing profound to say in this post except that I was so filled up with joy in the Lord as I beheld His beautiful creation this morning. I think part of the joy was seeing the sun for the first time in weeks. I generally do not mind the rain, but enough is enough already, and it is amazing what a little sunshine will do to lift one's heart aloft in happiness.

Godly Labor

Childbirth is attended with much preparation, focused attention, and purpose: to bring that new baby into the world and into your family. You take childbirth classes, learn a special way to breath (hee, hee, hee, hoo), eat well, exercise, read mother-baby books, assemble the nursery nest, dream, and wait, wait, wait.

And when you are laboring to push your baby out, every bone and sinew and muscle is involved - your whole heart and soul is involved - in that one high and holy intense purpose. You want that baby OUT. You are not merely a disinterested bystander but a totally all-there participant. I’m sure sometimes you wish you could disembody yourself and watch instead of doing the labor required to hatch your baby chick! But like it or not, you are totally immersed in the experience.

You are to have that same focused high and holy attention and purpose, naturally given to the delivery and birth of your baby, and you are to apply it to ‘forming Christ’ in them.

Paul says to the church in Galatia: “My dear children for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you…” (Gal.4:19)

Think about what Paul is saying. He is laboring, toiling, struggling, sweating, and striving industriously to bring them along in Christ, to grow them up in Christ, to make them like Christ!

You give such alert and all-there attention to bringing your little one into the world. In the same way, give your all to forming and shaping Christ in them, to raising them in the Lord and in His word. Apply that heart and energy to forming Christ in them throughout their babyhood, toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence, teen-hood and beyond.

This vital upbringing and training often falls to the wayside or is delegated to the scattered, occasional hit-and-miss. How then can Christ be formed in your children? I challenge all of us to evaluate our lives. Is the important, most important relationship with God squeezed out by the frantic, frenetic living of life?

We can be diligently faithful to get our kids to every sport practice and game, every music lesson and recital, but fail to diligently and faithfully bring them to God to feast on His word. Think about that. Evaluate. Eliminate.

If raising them in Christ and in His word is truly most important, then it should have daily precedence in our lives. Coming to God’s word with our children should be as daily and for-sure regular as sleeping, eating, and brushing our teeth.

To develop a love for God and His word demands taking time, coming to rest, and not just a quick slow-down, but a stopping. The years that your children are in your home - all the way through high school - are vital in establishing this vital routine and expectation in their lives. This diligence of coming to God is at the heart of knowing Him, of becoming like Him. Develop this habit and hunger in your children. God’s word speaks and works and they are never too young to benefit from the banquet available to them in the Bible.

Confessions of a Foodie Family

We take our food seriously in this family - we are dedicated, passionate foodies (and drinkies).

Our lives spin and gyrate around food. Good food - snacky food - gourmet food - chocolate food - we really aren’t that picky. But we are religiously firm believers in the mantra: God-gave-us-all-things-to-enjoy. That’s a command, isn’t it? So we are busy about the enjoying of ‘all things’, which means we are diabolically good at coming up with reasons to celebrate something…anything.

We are really not all that picky about the pretext we come up with to justify our ritual imbibing. Birthdays help a lot; weeklong or month-long birthday revelries are respectable. Graduations are good. So are anniversaries. But then we are left to our own strategic devices; believe me, we can get imaginative. It’s the first Friday of the month; the last Friday of the month; the beginning of a new month; a favorite month. Get the idea?

Planning a car trip only partially entails motel reservations and planning the route on our map. Mainly it involves the gleeful discussion of what special snacks and drinks we’ll take along. Admit it, as soon as those wheels start rolling, you want a bright yellow peanut M&M, too, right along with your chai tea latte. Right? Now do you know why we like road trips?

Our holidays start and end with meal planning, dessert making, food consuming. Our advent celebrations are undergirded with special treats of cinnamon dolce twisted pastry sticks or Belgium chocolate or homemade coconut joys or garlic flavored Boursin cheese on crackers.

Hubby will ask - “Are you ready to start celebrating advent season?” He isn’t asking if I have researched special Bible passages or whether I have all the candles I need or whether I have the advent wreath unpacked and arranged - no - he’s asking if I have the FOOD we need to celebrate. Advent hardly goes forward without these things. Seriously.

We play games as a family and watch movies all together while propped on our bellies lies a luscious bowl of oiled and salted popcorn. Or we pass around a couple of deluxe chocolate bars. You gotta try the new coconut white chocolate bar or the blueberry chocolate bar. We’ve done research. Num.

I can hardly even read a book without eating. And I read a lot of books. I’ve always thought that if I gave up reading, I’d be skinny as a thin line notebook. But I love reading - I could read my life away - and that becomes much more plausible and excusable if not only am I engrossed in a catering mystery or a who-done-it book, but I am also eating breakfast. Or lunch. Or my afternoon pick-me-up snack. I read to eat. Or, do I eat to read? - One of life’s large and looming dilemmas.

It begins to look like we foodies may even play games and watch movies to eat. Even celebrate advent to eat. Go on road trips to eat.

One of life’s real joys is stumbling across a fellow foodie. Is that you?

Marinated Friendships

Much interaction occurs in this day and age, but are we really corresponding? Are we really communicating? Email, Twitter, Face Book, Instant Messaging, Texting - etc. - all ways to instantly stay in close contact. You can twitter the world at large that you are eating broccoli, ironing a shirt, trimming your toenails, studying for a test, or petting your cat - and said world is very moved and stimulated. So we must think, because millions of such messages flood the wires and our email accounts and we flatter ourselves that we have ‘communicated.’ Really connected. Stayed. In. Touch.

But is this real communication? Have we really made a soul connection? Touched each other’s lives in a meaningful way? Encouraged each other in the midst of life and its upheavals and challenges? Is this correspondence time invested with a rich result?

We are reduced to correspondence in our relationships due to the fact that we are such a mobile society that today’s dear friend is tomorrows long-distance friend and next years distant memory. Our lives fill with dissolved, abandoned, and discarded friendships like so much dead wood stacked in the recesses of our minds and hearts.

We’ve lost the skill and time commitment and energy that is required to slowly marinate a friendship in meaningful, time-investing ways. The phrase ‘stay-in-touch’ implies a meaningful heart-to-heart sort of connection. But to maintain this requires time and special care, and it is just as much true for friends in close proximity as it is for long-distance friendships. We cannot afford to get sluggish or slothful with the meaningful efforts needed to maintain a relationship.

To stay in touch, you must see it as your personal responsibility. You cannot rely on the other to do the hard work of correspondence while you sit back in indolent ease. You must make the effort, or believe me, this friendship will die on the vine even full of the ripe fruit of possibility for a long-lasting bountiful and blessed friendship. Because people take love and care. They need nurturing. Negligence does not a beautiful friendship make. Negligence does not a beautiful friendship keep.

The King's Own Face, Pt 2

"HOLINESS" by JC Ryle

As I continued reading, I came to Ryle's wonderful words about how Jesus treated His disciples, and I decided to add that to my search as I read through the gospels. Jesus is a lovely Savior - so perfect in how He lives and handles the people around Him. We have a perfect example to follow, a perfect spiritual Mentor in Christ. Be encouraged, not only in the kind of Savior YOU have, but in following the example He sets of how we should treat one another.

"The whole of our Lord's conduct towards His disciples on earth deserves close consideration. It throws a beautiful light on the compassion and longsuffering that there is in Him. No master surely ever had scholars so slow to learn their lessons as Jesus had in the apostles. No scholars surely ever had so patient and forbearing a teacher as the apostles had in Christ. "

"At no time of our Lord's ministry did they seem to comprehend fully the object of His coming into the world. The plainest words and clearest warnings from their Master of what was going to befall Him seemed to have had no effect on their minds.... But what do you see in our Lord's behavior towards these disciples all through His ministry? You see nothing but unchanging pity, compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, longsuffering and love. He does not cast them off for their stupidity. He does not reject them for their unbelief. He does not dismiss them for ever for cowardice. He teaches them as they are able to bear. He leads them step by step, as a nurse does an infant when it first begins to walk."

"He cares for the least member of His body, as well as for the greatest. He cares for the babes of His family as well as the grown-up men. All are in His book of life, and all are under His charge. All are given to Him in an everlasting covenant, and He has undertaken, in spite of all weaknesses, to bring every one safe home. Only let a sinner lay hold on Christ by faith, and then, however feeble, Christ's word is pledged to him: 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.' He may correct him occasionally in love. He may gently reprove him at times. But He will never, never give him up."

"That same Lord and Savior who bore with the disciples is ready and willing to bear with you. If you stumble, He will raise you. If you err, He will gently bring you back. If you faint, He will revive you."

Wow. Again, what a beautiful Savior we have in Christ. So, as I venture forth to study the gospels, I want to have eyes to see deeply how Christ loved and walked with His little beloved flock. It will be comforting to see, on my own behalf, and inspiring to be challenged onward in my love for the flock of God that I personally rub shoulders with in life. Onward.

The King's Own Face

"HOLINESS" by JC Ryle

"It would be well if professing Christians studied the four gospels more than they do. No doubt all Scripture is profitable - But I think it would be good for some who are very familiar with the Epistles, if they knew a little more about the Gospels....Because I want Christians to know more about Christ. It is well to be acquainted with all the doctrines and principles of Christianity. It is better to be acquainted with Christ Himself...to be familiar with Jesus Himself, to see the King's own face, to behold His beauty."

"Four different inspired hands have drawn the picture of the Savior: His ways, His manners, His feelings, His wisdom, His grace, His patience, His love, His power, are graciously unfolded to us by four different witnesses! Surely we cannot know this Christ too well! Surely there is not a word, nor a deed, nor a day, nor a step, nor a thought in the record of His life, which ought not to be precious to us. We should labor to be familiar with every line that is written about Jesus. Come now, and let us study a page in our Master's history!"

So, herein lies my heart's desire to read the gospels again starting right now - a lovely way to begin my summer. And in doing that, I like to have a particular 'way' to read through the gospels; a particular plan. The last time, I wrote down everything I observed about Jesus and who He is and how He acted and treated sinners He rubbed shoulders with on His life journey. I wanted to keenly and carefully see, with eyes of faith, my precious Savior. That was much fun.

This time the Lord has laid on my heart to take chunks of the gospel as I come to them in my chronological reading and s-l-o-w way down and meditate on what is revealed therein about Christ. Lately I've been convicted and challenged by the Lord to take the time to meditate and to chew over the Word. Usually I read, read, read, covering ground, rather than taking that precious time. My goal is to take a passage that highlights an event or story in the life of Jesus, and, like the great Puritan writers, I aim to carefully mine the treasures, digging deep.

Wanna join me?

Standing for Truth

During our family devotions we are reading out loud through “A Body of Divinity” by Thomas Watson, who was a Puritan writer. This book was written in 1692. What I love about the Puritan writers is their broad, sweeping grasp of the Word as well as how they can dissect verses, mining and digging out precious treasures, bringing gems to the surface for all to admire for their beauty.

This book takes the Westminster Shorter Catechism, “in which the main principles of Christianity that lie scattered in the Scriptures are brought together and set forth…” Practically devotional, the expounded truths are so lovely and draws one inexorably towards Christ. A book to feast on….

Where we are currently reading, Watson is expounding on the umpteen ways we glorify God, and I loved this one about truth. It related so beautifully to my last blog post.

Enjoy.

“We glorify God, by standing up for His truths. Much of God’s glory lies in His truth. God has entrusted us with His truth, as a master entrusts His servant with his purse to keep. We have not a richer jewel to trust God with than our souls, nor has God a richer jewel to trust us with than His truth. Truth is a beam that shines from God. Much of His glory lies in His truth. When we are advocates for truth we glorify God. Jude 3, “…contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.” The Greek word to contend signifies great contending, as one would contend for his land, and not suffer his right to be taken from him; so we should contend for the truth.”

Girdle Up!

Truth matters. Truth is what we stand on. And truth expressed in Scripture is called theology. You could say that theology is our ‘girdle’ - it holds us all together so we don’t pop out in all directions...a little untruth bulging out here, and a little untruth bulging out there. We are to have tight, taut truth. Girdled up.

Hold God’s word and His truth dear. Don’t make light of it; don’t carelessly toss it overboard when it comes up against the false teachings of this age and generation. God cared to communicate with us; He gave us His perspective. I believe the huge conflict of our day is an all out attack against truth, against doctrine, against theology. (You know - who needs it? - just love one another….) Not only is God dead in this modern age, but also His Word is obsolete - sadly even in the midst of much of the church of today.

Many books are written that carve away at various truths of the Bible. Genesis is attacked. Revelation is attacked. The sovereign all-knowing God of Scripture is pulled down to man-size and His foreknowledge is taken away. His ability to control the events of history is ridiculed, His rule is considered passive and reactive and under the influence and power of evil.

Yuk. That is not MY God. That is not the God revealed in the doctrinal truths of Holy Scripture. THAT God is a God of all-knowledge, fully Sovereign over all of history in all of its minute aspects, and THAT God is a God who has spoken Words of truth and has breathed them into The Book. Believe it and stand on it.

Without truth we flounder and flop around in confusion and ride the waves of pain and doubt up and down and all around. But WITH truth we stand - and although buffeted and wind tossed - we stand. Plant your feet firmly on God’s truth; that truth ‘forever settled in heaven.’

Be careful of the modern Christian literature of today - fiction and non-fiction. Be discerning. Hold it up against the light of God’s word and don’t play with books that mess around and twist important truths of Scripture. There are popular books spreading falsehoods about God and His Word out there that your spirit should recoil from. Run from man rearranging God’s eternal truths. Be alert and watchful - GUARD these precious truths. They are words of life to us.

(I & II Timothy)

“They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.”

“…brought up in the truths of the faith...the good teaching that you have followed.”

“…the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”

“Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them…”’

“If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing.”

“Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge…”

“What you heard from me (Paul), keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you - guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”

“…correctly handle the word of truth.”

“…from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…”

“For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine…. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”

So - GIRDLE UP my friends!

Biblical Self Talk

Are you in control of yourself? Or are you driven along by feelings, emotions, fears, worries and concerns? It is actually an indulgence to allow yourself to sit down at the table of your own private pity party…looking only to the doldrums and to your own discouraging circumstances.

There are times in our lives when we would do well not to listen to the messages we are telling ourselves. In times of depression or fear or worry we can have lies roiling and boiling around in our heads. Or maybe we have temperament tendencies that lead us into negativity, pessimism, doubt, despair, and over the years have built quite a repertoire of broken record messages that we fall into and allow to lead us around by the nose.

I want to share an amazing truth that has significantly made a difference in my life and walk with the Lord, and I learned it from the book 'Spiritual Depression' by Martin Lloyd Jones.

The truth is this: Learn to take yourself in hand. Don’t be content to lie there and commiserate with yourself, but do something about it, like the Psalmist in Psalm 42:

“Why are you downcast, Oh my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise Him,
Who is the health of my countenance
And my God.” Vs 5,11

He talks to himself. He turns to himself and says, ‘Self - why are you downcast? Why are you so disquieted?’ We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! Much of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we listen to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves.

This man’s soul has been depressing him, crushing him. Self will always drag you down if it is in control; don’t placidly listen. So the Psalm writer stands up and says: ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.’

Lloyd-Jones says that the main art of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, exhort yourself, upbraid yourself and say, ‘Hope in God!’ - instead of huddling down in a puddle of misery.

Instead lift your eyes and your face to the face of Christ and feast on Him by speaking truth TO yourself. Remind yourself of what you know to be true:

He is the sure anchor of my soul.
Jesus loves me.
He works all things for good - bar none.
All His ways are lovingkindness and truth.
I have a secure future hope.
His Word is true no matter how I feel.
In my weakness He is strong.
He purchased and sealed me in salvation.
I am a precious child of God.
He is the Way the Truth the Life.
He is the anchor for my soul in the storms of life.
He is able.

Turning 50

I'm back! The last weeks have been filled with fun and meaningful events to celebrate. I've missed the time to write and hope to blog my little heart out in the coming weeks.

I turned 50 - and boy did we celebrate! I have to say that becoming 50 turned out to be a blast beyond belief!! From a surprise breakfast out with a special girlfriend, to a hot-pink manicure, to a surprise lunch with my parents, to shopping at the mall with mall bucks, to a huge surprise party with many girlfriends at a sweet cafe. Our table overlooked a pond surrounded by weeping willows - absolutely gorgeous. Sigh. I have never felt so loved and cared for and so spoiled. Their gifts were way over-the-top abundant with many red dishes and bowls and pitchers and such for my kitchen. They all know how much I love color!!

The evening was wrapped up at my home with my special family. The girls decorated the table with my new birthday dishes, pink balloons, and pink, peach, and yellow tulips. They made homemade cauliflower soup, homemade garlic-rosemary bread, salad, and to top it off, a world-class Russian creme with raspberries. Num. Food centers large in any family event in our home! Did you notice I ate my way through the whole day? ;O] And I opened my traditional family gifts - perfume and candles. Ahhhh. Supplies replenished.

Then my oldest daughter graduated from nursing school. Wow! What fun celebrations!! There was the award breakfast, the pinning ceremony, and finally the graduation itself. She was the one down front with the huge grin on her face! We were the crowd at the very back hooting and hollering and waving with all arms and blowing kisses. All graduation weekend I felt overwhelmed with gratefulness to the Lord for His faithful mercy and grace as He carried her through four years of the most trying and painful trials of her life. Most of that time she struggled with seriously debilitating health issues that made us wonder if she'd even be able to make it. God is so good - and He sure has been good to her. Because of Him she is now a graduated nursing student! We know exactly Who to thank! Next comes her nursing board exam - one week away.

To continue the graduation theme, we celebrated with an open house this weekend. The Lord gave sunshine and blooming flowers. It was a fun time with very special family and friends. Thank you all!

Oh, and one weekend in the midst of all this hoopla, several of us in the family headed to the coast where my daughter shot a wedding. Since I grew up in this town and still have family and friends there, I piggybacked along. I had a blast with a wonderfully special girlfriend - we've been friends since the 8th grade. (You do the math.) Our birthdays are only one day apart and we found out early in our friendship that we had been born in the same hospital as consecutive babies. Then didn't meet for 13 years. AND, I actually reconnected with another friend I'd grown up with and hadn't seen since 7th grade. Such joys.

So I'm done gallivanting around for a wee bit. I intend to stay around and chat. I look forward to it. See ya -

Depression #2

I want to write several blog posts on the topic of depression. It is such a devastating thing and I’ve learned just how widespread it is among women; it’s huge. There is comfort available from our Lord; there are truths that will under-gird and strengthen us as we walk that path. I want to share how He personally helped me through those years of darkness, and let me say this: learning to walk in the dark strengthened my faith and my ability to undergo other difficulties and trials in life. He prepared me in a very real sense for even darker future trials, and because I’d learned so much, I was not toppled over or crushed, but met them with faith and trust and hope. And yes, with pain even still, but not pain that smeared me dead across the path of life.

While feelings of depression may result from organic malfunctioning that can be medically diagnosed and treated, a variety of other factors may contribute to this situation as well. In spite of any contributing factor, in spite of there being a medical cause, you must come before the Lord and ask HIM to what purpose He is trying you in this valley of depression. Because believe me, He has a purpose. And this is sovereignly brought about and allowed by Him for our spiritual shaping and molding and maturing. He’s growing us up; and I don’t know about you, but I pay much greater attention when times are tough.

So, there I was, in the middle of a depression, and for three years I struggled along knowing nothing about causes. I knew I had God’s word as my light and guide, and I knew that I was to discipline myself even here for the purpose of godliness. That meant I was to obey Scripture even here, as in all circumstances. God’s word isn’t just for the good days when you feel all pumped up and spiffy.

So this gave me a path - a way to point my feet - a direction to aim my face. When all is dark and you don’t know what to do, when feelings of being overwhelmed or inadequate flood you, this is when you fall back on the truths of God’s word. He speaks from His word what He desires for us. His word sheds light on our way. He illumines the path by this precious beacon of truth. Don’t neglect it.

And depression is not dealt with in isolation, its tentacles are far-reaching and its effects are broad across all relationships and areas of our life, but this is a God-given opportunity to biblically address it all.

I never asked “why” the Lord had me in this state. My question was “WHAT?” “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?” “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?” I was desperate to DO it and then move on. I wanted OUT. Its so interesting that my Lord kept me there, but I know on this day looking back to those days, that it had a very, very good purpose in my life. I know my Lord better. I love Him more. I trust Him more. And I have more stamina and strength for the trials of life as they come. I was humbled, and in that humbling I was softened.

You know, God could have easily revealed to me in my very first year of depression that it was caused by my hormones being all catawampous. He didn’t. He was able to; that news didn’t catch Him by surprise; He knew, but He had a much higher purpose and good work to do in me. This is good to remember and to comfort ourselves with, because we will find ourselves in the midst of various difficulties in life, and the truth that He knows right where we are is a comforting one. We are not lost and wandering, but walking a path pre-ordained for us to walk in.