Menacing Mail Attack

Turning 50 has not only been relatively painless and less traumatizing than I projected, but actually a full-of-joy experience for me. Thanks to my hubby and dear friends and family, I had an absolute blast. I felt like I was gently carried over that half-a-century line and soothingly placed on the far side, upbeat and ready to face the-rest-of-my-life.

But then the attack began. It was insidious and sinister. And it started with AARP. Asking did I want to start my very own personal subscription to the OLD PEOPLE'S MAGAZINE?? I don't think so - thank you very much. But they are insistent, and not a month goes by when I don't receive another AARP reminder that the world at large considers me OLD.

But this week was the clincher. I received a LIPOLIFT 'Aesthetic Medicine' brochure in the mail, assuring me that I could laserlift myself right into new and improved! I could be reshaped, resized, rebuilt, lifted, tucked or suctioned. Wow. Doesn't that all just sound so fun? Right after our coffee date, how about if we gals go get worked over??

What is the matter with the me that I am? I mean, its not like I don't work on me quite enough as it is. I work out regularly; I wear deodorant; I shave my legs, apply lotion, paint my toenails, color my hair, wear make-up, and file my fingernails. This is about all the time I want to expend on this me. Oh, I guess I do like to dress myself in bright colors, capris, and black strappy sandals.

I stand HERE, strong and true, just over the 50 yard line, resistant to the AARP attack. I-will-not-subscribe. Are you with me?