Depression

A quagmire of quicksand for our feet…raging waters knocking us flat…darkness complete and smothering…loss of hope and peace. Soul-robbery…groaning night and day…joyless, hopeless…minds without anchor roving through dark wastes and barren places. Hands that fall limply into laps and sapped strength and a spirit of heaviness. No margin, no elasticity, no resilience, no bounce-back ability, no stretching - just crumbling, crashing, soul-crouching misery.

Depression.

I dwelt in that dark barren land for a long three years of my life. It marked me and changed me, but in the end taught me deep and precious truths about God and His ways with His children.

Each of us faces a sobering variety of painful, faith-trying, gut-wrenching circumstances that take us beyond our own human ability to cope. What do we do then? With what truths of Scripture do we comfort ourselves?

I learned to throw myself upon my Savior - the One who ordained and chose these trials for me, who shaped and molded them, and gently placed them in my midst.

This Savior is a God of love, He is good, and He is all knowing - so that ultimately we can rejoice in all things - because behind all of our trials and tribulations stands the Lord and His eternal kind-intentioned will and good purpose.

Boy - I went screaming to His door with all of my might. Over and over. And He met me and helped me. Not how I would have asked Him to, not by any means as quickly as I would have desired, and not by pulling me out of the dark trial by the scruff of the neck and placing me in the light again. No.

But He walked with me, beside me, and taught me to rely on the truth of His word even when I couldn’t see it or feel it. He did not take me out of the raging waters; He actually kept me under them to a higher purpose.

In the dark I clung tightly to His word, and one verse in particular was a comforting help to me.

“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice of His servant?...that walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on His God.” Isaiah 50:10

Several times throughout that chapter in Isaiah it declares, “It’s the Sovereign Lord who helps me.”

Let me tell you, all I could do sometimes was reach my hand up and hold tight to Him - clinging to Him with all my might.

Suffering in the land of depression surely strips away any self-confidence and everything else we might depend upon but Him. And this is HIS work! He gives us no promises for a life of ease; He never tells us we will have perfect health or even draw another breath. He does not always stay the awful things that can happen in this life.

But they are tools in His hands to shape and mold us and chip away at us until we are perfect in His sight. And the work that He began on our day of salvation He will complete; He will continue to ‘carpenter’ us. That was like THE good news to me. He had not thrown in the towel or given me over as too hard a nut to crack. This was His specific assigned portion for me - His beloved, precious, imperfect child.

Do not lose hope. Look up.

"Holiness" by J.C. Ryle

One of my desires with this blog is to encourage the reading of deep spiritual books. We can benefit so much from investing time and effort in many of the older authors, especially. They had a rich walk with God and a devotion to Him that sparks my own affections for God to grow. And boy do they know the Word. May these authors whet your appetite to grow and to fall more deeply in love with your Savior and may you be encouraged to live and walk in a more holy manner as a result.

First published in 1879, J.C. Ryle laments a lack of practical holiness in his day. He says this: "I have had a deep conviction for many years that practical holiness and entire self-consecration to God are not sufficiently attended to by modern Christians in this country. Politics, or controversy, or party spirit, or worldliness, have eaten out the heart of lively piety in too many of us. The subject of personal godliness has fallen sadly into the background. The standard of living has become painfully low in many quarters. The immense importance of 'adorning the doctrine of God our Savior' and making it lovely and beautiful by our daily habits and tempers has been far too much overlooked.... Sound doctrine is useless if it is not accompanied by a holy life. It is worse than useless: it does positive harm...it is my firm impression that we want a thorough revival about scriptural holiness."

He assures us that justification and regeneration are the works of God in our life, but where there is no sanctification, there is no regeneration, and "where there is no holy life there is no new birth. Sanctification is the only certain evidence of that indwelling of the Holy Spirit which is essential to salvation."

So, it matters how we live. How we live demonstrates who we are. You have to DO certain things to be a certain kind of person. Conversely, you have to BE a certain kind of person to do certain things. So as new creatures in Christ, as believers, there is a way of living, of holiness, that results because of WHO we are. He says, "I fear it is sometimes forgotten that God has married together justification and sanctification...one is never found without the other." And this book thoroughly addresses that topic in a deep and spiritually uplifting manner.

I feel utterly inadequate at this book review thing. How can I attempt in a small paragraph or two to indicate the rich and rewarding words of truth and encouragement that await you? I find myself unable to do this book justice without just flat quoting the whole thing. So here is a wee bit more....

He presses on all converted people the possibility of continual growth in grace, and the absolute necessity of going forward, increasing more and more, and every year dedicating and consecrating ourselves more, in spirit, soul and body, to Christ. He says that true holiness "does not consist merely of believing and feeling but of doing and bearing.... Our tongues, our tempers, our natural passions and inclinations; our conduct as parents and children, masters and servants, husbands and wives, rulers and subjects; our dress, our employment of time, our behavior in business, our demeanor in sickness and health..." all of these things are minutely treated in Scripture with regard to our holiness.

I wasn't up very many hours the other morning before I blew it with my mouth. Words came out that 'stinketh' to high heaven. I felt wounded and offended - and out flew words that revealed my fleshly heart. A little later I read my Bible, and God took a big yellow highlighter and underscored a verse for me. (Isn't that sweet?)

"Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees." (Ps.119:5) Steadfast. Sigh. Verse 6 says, "Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands."

Lord, make me steadfast in obedience, holy in all my behavior, bearing fruit in every good work, increasing in the knowledge of God, steadfast in pursuing You. May it be said of me like verse 3, "They do nothing wrong; they walk in His ways."

It is because I am weak and falter and fail that I run, not only to God's holy Word, but to deep spiritual books, to feed and nurture my soul and draw me higher in my walk with Him. Praise God that the work He began in me He promises to continue and perfect. That gives me great comfort and hope. So, in the reading of this book 'Holiness', I hope to do due diligence in my pursuit of Him. Come join me.

A Helper Suitable

Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” ‘Helper suitable’ is not just a man’s idea of how to get everything he wants out of a woman - this is the role God has given wives! You might say we are God’s special gift to our husbands.

If you are a wife, God has already determined your primary ministry and role in life - above the church, above the children, above your work, above your to-do list, above home schooling, above your leisure activities. And apart from our own personal relationship with Christ, ladies, nothing else should have greater priority in our lives.

Our husbands should be the primary benefactors of our time and energy - not just getting our leftovers at the end of the day. It has been a struggle for me not to develop a child-centered home in a way that neglects my marriage; instead, I want a marriage-centered home with my husband at its hub. God has created good works for me to do; the greatest work I have is in being a helper suitable in my ministry to my husband.

Thinking of my husband as my greatest ministry took a subtle shift in my thinking and perspective. Many marriage books focus on the woman and her needs; I was much more focused on what he needed to be for me than God’s order of things, which is that I am created for him.

Of course we know there is a lovely mutual benefit in marriage, and thankfully our husbands’ heavenly orders are to love us - but our focus and goal and desire is to be for our husbands, to be their helpers.

Society and culture battles against this idea on every front. And demands of life - our children, home schooling, job/career, and hobbies - all deplete our resources and energies so that our husbands are either out of the energy loop or at the bottom of the priority list. Maybe your schedule can’t change, maybe life’s demands can’t change - but I’ve found that a change in my thinking makes a difference.

The Amplified Bible expounds on Genesis 2:18, “See to it that the wife respect and reverence her husband…that she notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, venerate and esteem him, and that she defer to him, praise him, and love and admire him exceedingly.”

Proverbs 31 says that the heart of her husband trusts in her. His well-being is in her hands; she has the power to bless him and to be truly kind…and I have found that respecting, loving, and honoring him begins in my thought life.

A silly story illustrates this idea. Just a few years ago I got a phone call from my wonderful mother. As our conversation progressed, I detected anger and irritableness in her voice. Finally I asked her what was wrong. She told me about a dream she’d had the night before, that she’d caught me smoking and that I wouldn’t stop. She was so mad at me in the dream, and that frustration spilled out in the phone call with me. I thought this was hysterical - Mom, its just a dream!! We both chuckled about it.

But what I want to illustrate with this silly story, is that out of her negative thoughts spilled negative words and attitudes toward me. Ladies, we’ve already dangerously compromised the battle to respect and love and honor our husbands if we allow ourselves to indulge in negative or bitter thoughts - because it will spill out and it will affect how we treat them.

Controlling our minds and our thoughts is a very necessary part of loving and respecting our husbands, and though unseen, this inner battle has a great impact on our attitudes. It makes it almost impossible to honor and respect if inside we are roiling and boiling with negative, bitter thoughts of our man.

I do not want to be a wife that tears down her house with her own hands. And how do we do that as women? When we disrespect them with our words and attitudes - because disrespect robs our husbands of the inner-man strength to be what God wants them to be.

Do you tear down your husband with words? Batter him with your superior speech and witticisms? Do you empower your husband - or weaken and shame him? Do you put him down in front of other people, by words or tone of voice? Do you jest and joke at his expense, making him look the fool in front of others? Do you correct him in front of others?

Do you build him up, shore him up, help him stand tall, or do you pull the rug out from under him with your sharp sword-piercing words? What kind of a picture do you paint of your husband for your children and friends to see? Slightly foolish and bumbling? Not quite as all together as you? Out-to-lunch when it comes to the practicalities of life?

Love does not act unbecomingly. Do whatever you can to make your man look good to others. Always speak of him in a positive light; never slander him. Build him up. Make your conversation full of grace. Bless him. Be kind and tenderhearted to him. Remember, the hearts of our husbands trust in us. Be trustworthy. Be his cheerleader - not the annoying faucet that drips acidic words that erode away his confidence and character and manhood.

Remember your marriage vows? To love, honor, and obey? You can dishonor your vows not only with your body, but also with your mind and thoughts. Be a woman that keeps the spirit of her vows as well as the letter.

“See to it that you respect your husband.” (Eph.5:33). I wish this verse ended with, ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life.’ It doesn’t. We are just commanded to respect! But we know that our well-being as women is found in obedience to the plan that God has set before us of how we are to live as helpers suitable to our husbands.

Sisterhood

I have always felt so blessed - so gifted by God - to have you four girls. Not just one or two, but four. Just how amazing is that! And you ladies are so lucky to have each other, too. I pray you realize that and even grow in further appreciation of each other over the years. May you find solace in one another, friendship that deepens and abides, understanding and compassion that binds you heart and soul.

Do not lightly hold this gift of God in one another. See clearly how special you are to each other. You will have other very special girlfriends, you may have husbands and families - but what you find in each other as sisters is an abiding for-the-long-haul and through-the-years blessing.

You have had many years in the home here together, even several of your college years. I regard that as a special bonus for my mother’s heart! We have enjoyable, wonderful, crazy family times, lots of laughter, deep talks. You girls have had extra years to live in close contact. Redeem this time; make use of it to love one another more dearly, to grow in your understanding and sensitivities to one another.

Your home is your first real training ground for making you Spirit-filled and fruit-filled and God-dependent. Be a good soldier and athlete in training. Stay the course. Buffet your body, do the hard work of getting into spiritual shape by exercising your muscles of longsuffering and fervent love that covers over the sins of others, of forgiveness, repentance, kindness and thoughtfulness. Bear one another's burdens. Here is a real opportunity to put the needs of another before your own in a very real and practical sense.

Do you see how all of this practice - all of this spiritual discipline applied to life in the home - deepens your character and makes you a lovely young woman of God? The spiritual growth and maturity you attain here, you take with you into life beyond your beginning years and on into eternity. Don’t waste and squander these years. Don’t settle down and squat in a state of ‘just-maintaining’ until you are able to leave and get out on your own. Redeem the time. Make use of the allotted time God has given you here.

If God is truly Sovereign over all, then He is also Sovereign over these years at home and has a plan even here for your spiritual growth and development, beyond the time we spend in the Bible as a family. Don’t throw over the tough lessons of home life relationships and family and sibling struggles because it is just too hard and you cannot wait to move on. While you are here - be all here. Be attentive to the work God is doing in your life, painful or frustrating or revealing and discouraging as it may be.

It is a whole lot easier to put on a façade of godliness outside the home with the public and friends ‘out there’, but our in-house relationships are most often used by God to expose us and lay us bare and uncover ugly sin tendencies. God uses these closer relationships in our lives to shape us up and scrub us clean. Take those challenging, irritating sibling moments that occasionally occur and use that opportunity to grow in grace and Christ-like love for one another. So listen. Heed. Hear. Obey. Do.

Don’t ignore the voice of the Holy Spirit and His urgings. Be quick to make things right. Learn to talk and do the hard, hard work of patching up and mending things in your sibling relationships. Don’t judge harshly and don’t assume you can read your sister’s heart and motives. It is tough to take the time to really listen and hear one another. We are certainly more affectionate with our own perspectives - but we must be aware that the perspective of others is just as valid and real to them. You have needs. Your sisters have needs. Learn to care about their needs, nurture them, and look for opportunities to fill their empty cup.

Living in close proximity with other human beings, we see not only their strengths, but also their foibles and weaknesses and tendencies towards sin. They see yours, too. Give grace to one another. Be tenderhearted. Here is an opportunity to gain insights into human nature - into your own and into the very hearts of others. God says that His people are known by their love. Redeem the opportunity to truly love right here in your own home, with those sometimes the most difficult to love, because we rub and scrape against each other in such daily close proximity. As iron sharpens iron, may you girls sharpen and buff one another to a lovely shine. May you step forth from your home-ground mature and exquisite gems that reflect God’s chiseling and shaping work on your life.

“…brought up in the truth of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed…train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (I Tim.4:7-8)

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Col.3:12-14)

It Matters How We Live

Let me just say this straight out with boldness: It matters how we live as Christians. Believing is not enough, at least not the kind of believing that has no effect on our lives. The kind of faith or belief that is apart from a changed life is not only wrong but clearly in contradiction to the teachings of Scripture.

This has been on my heart for a few years; this whole idea that is lived out in many lives of so-called believers - a life of ‘faith’ that does not result in a progressive walk of holiness. That is abhorrent to God and detestable to Him.

I started to collect verses that spoke of a changed life due to our salvation in Christ, but I soon stopped, because the Bible is chock full of millions of verses that illustrate and highlight this truth of a sanctified life - a life that is progressively growing in truth and holiness. This is the only path for true believers; there is no other way therein to walk. If this is not true of you, if there is no ongoing proof of your walk with Christ, I beg you to examine not only the Scriptures, but your own life and heart. Because once Christ takes up residence in our lives, we change. There is no exception.

There are those out there who want to live in blatant, defiant sin who still want to claim the mantel of Christianity. This is utterly false.

A believer can fall. Yes. A believer can fall badly. Yes. But if the pattern of years is unfruitfulness and willful sin and an unchanged life, then the Scriptures tell us to examine their fruit. We will know them by their fruit, and a good tree does not produce bad fruit.

We believe - God rescues us and we believe with the God-given gift of faith - and the result is a new life in Christ; we are now new creatures. We walk in newness of life, “so that in every way we will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.” (Tit.2:10) We ‘adorn the gospel of God….’ How? We adorn it with a godly and upright life.

We are told to "put our religion into practice" (I Tim 5:4/8); to "pursue righteousness and godliness" (6:11); to "fight the good fight of faith" (6:12). The fight of faith is the fight for holy living. Admittedly it is a fight.

We are "called to a holy life" (2 Tim.1:9). “The Lord knows those who are His…everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from sin.” A life of faith and real belief results in a turning away from sin and wickedness. “Flee evil desires…and pursue righteousness…” (2:22). I see no room for cozy co-habitation with sin. It should repel and horrify us.

Titus 1 tells us that "knowledge of the truth leads to godliness." In verse 16 Paul says that "there are those who claim to know God, but by their actions they deny Him" Ouch. Actions and behavior tell the real story, right out there plain for all to see. And God above has access to our hearts, too; what kind of ugliness is revealed there?

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority…” (Tit. 2:11-15)

"Learn to devote yourselves to doing what is good" (Tit.3:14); “purify yourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of a reverence for God.” (2 Cor.7:1) “But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you - but you must master it.” (Gen. 4:7)

I could go on and on. I feel so strongly against the ‘easy-believism’ of the current Christian pop culture. What an affront this slap-stick religion is to God Most High and Holy. Such a life holds Him in utter contempt and spits on the blood sacrifice of His Son. For shame.

So examine your life and heart. I will examine mine. Where do I fall short? Where am I cozy and comfortable with sin? Where have I gotten too lazy to fight the good fight and have slid down into murkiness? The downward slope is slick and easy; no fight involved there.

Lets get more serious about our walk with God. Sober up. Pursue Him; follow hard after Him. Evaluate your walk and bump it up; raise your walk with God to a new level. Why? Because He loves us, sacrificed His Son on our behalf, and made a way for us to live in heaven with Him. He transferred us from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. We owe Him. We owe Him our very lives.

R.C. Sproul says this: “God first sets us apart as holy - and then He commands us to live up to this reality.”

Christmas Tree Adventure

We got our Christmas tree in early December, on my oldest daughter's 21st birthday, per her request. Otherwise, we would have been bartering with Daddy for weeks to please, please, please be able to get our tree early!!! The Christmas tree tradition he was indoctrinated in during his childhood, espoused that the parents got the tree, decorated said tree and the whole living room behind closed doors, and 'ta da', on Christmas Eve the whole magical room was unveiled. Hmmm. Special tradition. Nice and all - but definitely not appealing to the women of this household.

Every year he wants to wait that long and - poor guy - every year he loses out to the female horde in his home and graciously gives in to our wishes. For of course we girls want the tree up as soon as possible, otherwise how could we fully enter into the joy of the season? How could we properly get into the lit-candle mood of advent? Without a tree, how could we sing Christmas carols during family devotions? How could we munch on holiday cookies and candy canes outside of the proper atmosphere of a glittering and ribbon bedecked tree?! Makes no sense.

So, we usually get our tree early - give or take a couple of weekends - depending on our persuasiveness that particular year.

We loaded up the Suburban in the pouring down rain with tarp and rope and gloves and handsaw and drove past all of the signs advertising Christmas tree farms practically right in our backyard and drove miles away to discover a new - cheap - tree farm. We found one with a sign that advertised selected red ribbon trees for only $10. That would qualify as cheap.

We started our tramp through the trees, spreading out like frost on a cold window, each exclaiming over the perfect tree - over here! I quickly surmised why they were cheap, for the trees had such expanded girths they had outgrown most houses. But year after year we are tempted by giant trees, so that was not a deterrent for us. We chose our tree, sawed it down, and carried it to the waiting Suburban. It didn't fit inside. It barely fit on the roof of the car though we tied it down and drove off with our arms out the windows holding it in place. I'm sure we looked like the Beverly Hillbillies.

We hung blankets to protect our new front door as we shoved and heaved the tree into our living room. Ahhh. The hard work was behind us - let the fun begin! I warmly contemplated how early in the season we'd managed to whine our way to a tree!

I've never been so deceived in my smug complacency.

For now the second yearly debate began...where to place the Christmas tree! Daddy wants the tree in the middle of the room - I kid you not - for clearly that way everybody gets a good view of the twinkly lights. Every year he wants this. Every year we girls trample all over his fanciful fantasy with derision and scorn and passive aggressive behavior, for the tree clearly must go in its proper place in front of the window. Clearly.

This year something came over me and I said - I really did - I said go ahead and try it where you would like it. Then I hid in the kitchen doing clean-up while he and the girls dismantled and disarranged the whole living room to experiment with his tree fantasy.

To properly set the scene, you must know that my oldest daughter had assisted me in thoroughly decorating the large living room just the day before. Displays of snowmen, creches and candles, our large Christmas book collection, holiday villages, bowls of sparkly colored balls nestled in green moss covered every surface, and it was beautiful. And it was almost all dismantled as couches and chairs and trunks and coffee tables and end tables were all moved around to accommodate the intruding fat tree.

Well, he got it to its imagined place of triumph. From the kitchen I heard him say: "Hmmm, it doesn't quite work there." I was still in the kitchen, yes. I sometimes find it easier to maintain a godly, gracious demeanor - facade - if I am not directly tempted by watching. It is a whole lot less painful than biting my tongue.

After about an hour of finagling, back the tree went to its properly designated-before-creation place of triumph and beauty in front of the window. I came out of the kitchen, and we girls all heaved a sigh of relief. I consoled myself with the knowledge that surely, now, this temptation to dilly dally around with the tree will be forever nipped in the nappies and we'll not have to deal with this particular trial again in future. At least I have a whole year to be free of this particular worry.

Onward to the decorating. We left the tree out a bit from the window for ease of decorating,
added a bit of water for the thirsty tree, and began the tradition of winding the white lights about the tree while we sipped our hot spiced cider. Until we ran out of lights. This also is a yearly family tradition. Once back from the store, we finished up the lights, added wide red ribbon wrapped around the tree, and gold, red, and white ornaments. It was gorgeous. My eldest daughter kept a tight rein on the wilder, less beautiful ornaments, for she was to be the hostess of her Bible study's Christmas party this year. Any ragged ornament outside her theme was snatched off the tree and we were informed it could go back on after the party. This whole decorating thing with her has been quite fun as she is a minimalist - and I - well, I am a 'maximalist.'

The tree is now all decorated and it is time to move it back into its place against the window. We had the heavy metal stand placed on a three foot piece of plywood to protect our new floors and as we slid the tree home - you guessed it - the water sloshed out onto the board, swam to the edges and leaked under the board. Oh Oh. Of course we could not leave the water under the board for the whole month of December. (Although tempting)

Now the fun really began. Hubby had a plan. Remember the large girth of this tree - and imagine its weight. He marshaled his troops, we all had our assignments: one hold the tree, one slide the plastic under the board, one dry the floor and the board, and he would tilt the board to accommodate all. You know what happened. We did dry the floor, we did get the plastic under the board, but the tree fell over, twice, in the process and all of our decorating came undone. About fifteen ornaments crashed onto the bare floor and broke and the lovely red ribbon hung in bedraggled rows reminiscent of a harlot after a long night.

We decorated again. And we put the living room back in order again. The amazing truth is that all of this happened in just one afternoon and evening. We kept our humor - you must agree, it was all really quite laughable, and it has been fun sharing with you our tree trimming escapade. Debacle. Adventure!

The Secret

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want." (Phil.4:12)

This verse implies crazy whirling circumstances and conditions of all kinds:
In any and every situation - in the death or serious injury of a loved one; in the heartache of a struggling marriage or divorce; in failure at work or school; in the midst of dark depression or spiritual oppression; in ill health or cancer or debilitating migraines and bodily pain; in loneliness and loss of friendship; in the midst of being misjudged and the topic of gossip; in a rape or sexual assault; in lack of purpose or aimlessness; in times of waiting and not knowing - I have learned the secret.

The secret is God Himself. In any and every situation the one constant is God. I have God right here where I am residing at this very moment. Nothing can remove Him from me; nothing can separate Him from me. Other losses I may suffer, but this loss I shall never be asked to endure. I am His and He is mine.

"My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
And my portion forever." (Ps.73:26)

My portion. My cup. My inheritance. My all.

So - I can lose everything - my family, my friends, my home and things, my job and career, my safety, my comfort and ease, my money, my sustenance, my health, my pleasures in this life, my purity, my dreams - and I would not have lost the most important thing in all of my life, for I still have my precious God and Savior.

Now one thing that is true for all of us in our spiritual sojourn is that we know these truths, but then God takes that head knowledge and makes it real, real, real. And He makes Himself the very thing that matters most. How? He presses these truths out in the wine press and pressures of life and He shows us over and over again the utter necessity of trusting Him 'even here' and 'even here' and 'even here.' Hasn't that been true for you? It surely has been true for me.

I am not the same woman I was even 10 years ago. God has been at work and it has been a good work even though my life has had its painful, tortuous times. Over and over He has said, I am your all-in-all. You could lose this - whatever - and you would still have Me, and my soul has been comforted with that precious reassurance. Not until we have suffered in various ways and seen Him prove Himself to us personally can we say with confidence that yes, He is all I need, though I lose all else. This, then, is the secret of being content in all circumstances.

That secret is not learned in a moment. That secret cannot be taught in a book or a class. It is borne out of a faith pressed into service in the high heat of trials beyond our own capability to endure. We are taught to run to our Savior, to our Jesus. And right there is where that truth becomes our own. Yes, I have my God. I will never lose Him.

We cannot just take in the facts from our eyes and think this is the only truth - this is 'real' truth. For the Bible says, "We live by faith not by sight..." (II Cor.5:7) There is an unseen truth. The data from our eyes may say this is chaos happening in my life, uncontrolled chaos, working against my comfort and peace and joy. But as believers in the God of the universe, we look beyond what is seen with our eyes and we look to the unseen. Our faith grabs hold of the assurances in scripture that God is in control and holds on tight. Always. Nothing can remotely touch our lives without, not only His divine permission, but also His good and sovereign purpose. And in believing, we cling to His beloved hand.

"Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well, with my soul.'"
"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..." (Phil.3:8)
"I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.'" (Lam.3:24)
"You are my portion, O Lord..." (Ps.119:57)
"God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" (Heb.13:5)